100WC THE WALL!

Bang! Bang! Two figures fall to the ground.  Mum! Dad!  Suddenly I scream and wake up from the nightmare.  Matt runs to see me.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine just that nightmare again.  I wish we could see them again.  It feels like yesterday we were with our parents” I say.

Matt turns around and has a weird ball in his hand.  He throws the ball at the wall and it makes the wall dusty.  Matt grabs my hand and pulls me in.

I close my eyes in fear.  When I open them I see my mum and dad standing there with arms open. But we can’t move.

One Response

  1. antsclass at |

    Quinn,
    this is such a roller-coaster ride- First scared, then relieved, then sad, then hopeful, then elated, and finally our hopes are dashed….and all this in just 100 words. It goes to show what thoughtful word choice and sentence construction can do to create a mood.
    I think the way you have based this piece around key verbs is particularly powerful (fall, scream, wake, run, throw, grab, pull, close, open)- especially when the final image is of being frozen, unable to do anything!
    Wonderful work,
    Ant

    Reply

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